A long haul flight is never something I get excited about, but I suck it up as I love to travel so I have no choice.
We arrived at Charles De Gaulle feeling pretty good about our flight to Doha. There was really not much waiting around as by the time we'd gone through Immigration (twice) - yep after going through the first time, getting the passport stamped by some dude who wouldn't have known if I was waving a gun around, had 2 heads, or was male or female, as he didn't bother to make eye contact, we then had to turn around & go back out to find the Tax Refund section (hmmm maybe one of us bought a leather jacket, guess who? OMG it's gorgeous!) and then come back in. I knew the immigration dude took no notice the first time as I got him the second time too, he looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time, which technically he was, stamped my passport (again) & that was that.
We couldn't wait to board the flight as we were in real need of a sneaky little nana nap. It was going to be so good...put on the eye mask, headphones & off to la-la land we would go.
Reality was we were sitting behind a couple with an 18 month old little girl & we started to panic thinking "oh oh here we go again". On the flight over we'd been lucky enough NOT to be sitting behind this couple who had a child that I thought was a 12 year old boy and I kept asking why they were putting him in the bassinet? Just didn't seem fair as he was nearly as big as me! I say we were lucky not to be sitting behind them as they were the "rocker" parents from hell & seeing them in my peripheral vision was bad enough. Now I'm no rocket scientist but I would think if a baby, or 12 y.o. boy, is screaming their lungs out the last thing you'd want to do is rock back & forth so forcefully in your seat that you actually escalate the situation, not only stressing the child out more, but those around you as well. I truly thought at one point the seat was going to break and dad would end up in the guy's lap in the seat behind and the 12 y.o. boy would be airborne. Scary thought as this was a big kid and he could have taken out quite a few rows behind him. Would a bottle not have been a better option? Hmmm something to ponder.
Anyhoo we just kept putting out the positive vibe that this flight was going to be very different and all children would be well behaved & quiet.
Couldn't have been more wrong.
The couple in front were rockers too (although on the positive side not violent rockers like the 12 y.o boy's parents - bonus). 18 month old certainly had a set of lungs on her and at one point I thought they may have been holding "The Voice - Baby" auditions on board as this kid was going for gold. Personally I don't think she would have made it past round one as there were a few pitch issues, but this didn't stop her.
The screaming was bad enough without the addition of a rattle toy that just annoyed the bejesus out of me. Seriously you think a screaming child is going to be soothed by a noisy toy? They should be banned, I'm talking about toys of this nature (or am I?).
Now I'm probably sounding quite negative about the whole situation, but please don't judge me harshly as it truly just went on & on & on. Dad was having a great time watching 12 Years a Slave while mum was going the shake, rattle & roll, and he seemed totally oblivious to what was going on around him (nicely done dad).
At one stage The Voice breaks free from mum & flees to my seat & stands there giving me the evil eye. Really kid, really? I just thought this was poor form, but couldn't really blame The Voice as she's a child after all & was getting no direction from the big folk. If I thought I could have had a
decent conversation I would have pointed out that there really is no point stacking on a turn as it's not going to make the trip go any quicker and you're just going to be very unpopular. If I thought laying
face down on the floor and pummelling my fists would have got me upgraded to Business Class well I would have been face down in a flash. Reality - it just wasn't going to happen so whatever the issue suck it up, shut up & just have a little nap as we don't always get what we want.
Let's just say the 6 1/2 hour flight seemed like 24 hours & the nana nap we were so looking forward to didn't eventuate. Forever the optimists we just moved on...to the 14 hour flight to Melbourne, putting out the "no kids in front of us please" vibe.
Someone heard our pleas as no kids in sight. We were ecstatic!
Our delight was short lived though as I was unfortunate to have a thumper behind me. Let me explain...
No-one loves a touch screen more than I do...if it's used correctly. What some people fail to understand is there is a person sitting on the other side of the screen i.e. the seat in front. Again you don't have to be a rocket scientist to work this out, but for some it just doesn't register.
They had obviously installed a "thump" screen rather than a "touch" screen behind me. How did I know this? Because Thumper nearly gave me concussion, that's how. Yep she proceeded to thump away at the screen & from her heavy sighs it was not going well at all. I'm surprised she didn't break it as she was really giving it a good what for (the screen that is, although it could have very well been my head).
Thumper finally fell asleep, she'd possibly worn herself out from her cardio workout & I was very relieved, until I looked down at my armrest & see Thumper's socked foot cheekily resting near my elbow. Was Thumper for real? Personal space madam, come on. I wasn't impressed as I thought what an amateur...I mean they weren't even compression socks. I sensed there were going to be some real fluid retention issues on landing as Thumper was one wound up chick. I just pulled my eye mask down, turned my head the other way & thought about the Portugese custard tarts I'd had at Tasca in Le Marais (see below). Dare I say it, these were even smoother & creamier than those I'd had in Lisbon.
Oh my I'd found my happy place & thump screens & screaming kids were a world away.
We arrived at Charles De Gaulle feeling pretty good about our flight to Doha. There was really not much waiting around as by the time we'd gone through Immigration (twice) - yep after going through the first time, getting the passport stamped by some dude who wouldn't have known if I was waving a gun around, had 2 heads, or was male or female, as he didn't bother to make eye contact, we then had to turn around & go back out to find the Tax Refund section (hmmm maybe one of us bought a leather jacket, guess who? OMG it's gorgeous!) and then come back in. I knew the immigration dude took no notice the first time as I got him the second time too, he looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time, which technically he was, stamped my passport (again) & that was that.
We couldn't wait to board the flight as we were in real need of a sneaky little nana nap. It was going to be so good...put on the eye mask, headphones & off to la-la land we would go.
Reality was we were sitting behind a couple with an 18 month old little girl & we started to panic thinking "oh oh here we go again". On the flight over we'd been lucky enough NOT to be sitting behind this couple who had a child that I thought was a 12 year old boy and I kept asking why they were putting him in the bassinet? Just didn't seem fair as he was nearly as big as me! I say we were lucky not to be sitting behind them as they were the "rocker" parents from hell & seeing them in my peripheral vision was bad enough. Now I'm no rocket scientist but I would think if a baby, or 12 y.o. boy, is screaming their lungs out the last thing you'd want to do is rock back & forth so forcefully in your seat that you actually escalate the situation, not only stressing the child out more, but those around you as well. I truly thought at one point the seat was going to break and dad would end up in the guy's lap in the seat behind and the 12 y.o. boy would be airborne. Scary thought as this was a big kid and he could have taken out quite a few rows behind him. Would a bottle not have been a better option? Hmmm something to ponder.
Anyhoo we just kept putting out the positive vibe that this flight was going to be very different and all children would be well behaved & quiet.
Couldn't have been more wrong.
The couple in front were rockers too (although on the positive side not violent rockers like the 12 y.o boy's parents - bonus). 18 month old certainly had a set of lungs on her and at one point I thought they may have been holding "The Voice - Baby" auditions on board as this kid was going for gold. Personally I don't think she would have made it past round one as there were a few pitch issues, but this didn't stop her.
The screaming was bad enough without the addition of a rattle toy that just annoyed the bejesus out of me. Seriously you think a screaming child is going to be soothed by a noisy toy? They should be banned, I'm talking about toys of this nature (or am I?).
Now I'm probably sounding quite negative about the whole situation, but please don't judge me harshly as it truly just went on & on & on. Dad was having a great time watching 12 Years a Slave while mum was going the shake, rattle & roll, and he seemed totally oblivious to what was going on around him (nicely done dad).
At one stage The Voice breaks free from mum & flees to my seat & stands there giving me the evil eye. Really kid, really? I just thought this was poor form, but couldn't really blame The Voice as she's a child after all & was getting no direction from the big folk. If I thought I could have had a
decent conversation I would have pointed out that there really is no point stacking on a turn as it's not going to make the trip go any quicker and you're just going to be very unpopular. If I thought laying
face down on the floor and pummelling my fists would have got me upgraded to Business Class well I would have been face down in a flash. Reality - it just wasn't going to happen so whatever the issue suck it up, shut up & just have a little nap as we don't always get what we want.
Let's just say the 6 1/2 hour flight seemed like 24 hours & the nana nap we were so looking forward to didn't eventuate. Forever the optimists we just moved on...to the 14 hour flight to Melbourne, putting out the "no kids in front of us please" vibe.
Someone heard our pleas as no kids in sight. We were ecstatic!
Our delight was short lived though as I was unfortunate to have a thumper behind me. Let me explain...
No-one loves a touch screen more than I do...if it's used correctly. What some people fail to understand is there is a person sitting on the other side of the screen i.e. the seat in front. Again you don't have to be a rocket scientist to work this out, but for some it just doesn't register.
They had obviously installed a "thump" screen rather than a "touch" screen behind me. How did I know this? Because Thumper nearly gave me concussion, that's how. Yep she proceeded to thump away at the screen & from her heavy sighs it was not going well at all. I'm surprised she didn't break it as she was really giving it a good what for (the screen that is, although it could have very well been my head).
Thumper finally fell asleep, she'd possibly worn herself out from her cardio workout & I was very relieved, until I looked down at my armrest & see Thumper's socked foot cheekily resting near my elbow. Was Thumper for real? Personal space madam, come on. I wasn't impressed as I thought what an amateur...I mean they weren't even compression socks. I sensed there were going to be some real fluid retention issues on landing as Thumper was one wound up chick. I just pulled my eye mask down, turned my head the other way & thought about the Portugese custard tarts I'd had at Tasca in Le Marais (see below). Dare I say it, these were even smoother & creamier than those I'd had in Lisbon.
Oh my I'd found my happy place & thump screens & screaming kids were a world away.
Before I sign off a special shout out to the dad & his gorgeous little 2 y.o. on the flight from Paris to Doha. This little one was as cute as a button, sat quietly hugging her doll & we honestly didn't hear a peep out of her for the whole flight. Could have something to do with dad being calm & relaxed & no rocking involved.
Cute as a button you get my vote for best on ground, or should I say best in air, on the day. x
P.S. To the lovely flight attendant who woke me to "welcome" me aboard the flight as I'm a Qatar member please don't do that again. I know where the toilets are & I know you will feed me several times (no need to tell me feed times as I don't wear a watch so this means absolutely nothing to me). My heart skipped a beat as for a split second I thought you were going to upgrade me to Business Class after the luggage debacle on the flight over. That would have been a nice touch & most appreciated, however my heart quickly dropped when I realised this wasn't going to happen.
Just to repeat, NEVER wake me unless an emergency situation has arisen or an upgrade is involved as it's just mean.
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